Surprise Funeral

Caitlin is lying dead on the couch, holding flowers. Behind it are Matt, John and Megan, all dressed in black. Megan is crying.

JOHN

When will this be over?

MATT

Just a few minutes.

MEGAN

The priest said silent prayer! Oh, Caitlin!

Megan throws herself over the couch. The boys grab her and pull her up.

JOHN

Mom! Mom stop, you're embarrassing us!

MEGAN

I can't let my baby go!

MATT

Mom get a hold of yourself! You can't get buried with her!

MEGAN

And why not? She's my baby!

JOHN

Well so are we!

MEGAN

You aren't dead!

MATT

Thank you?

Megan climbs over the couch and lies on top of Caitlin, hugging her.

MEGAN

Let me be with my baby girl! Close the coffin!

JOHN

We should go get Father DeLalio.

MATT

I'm on it.

Matt runs offstage and then quickly back on dressed as a priest.

FATHER DELALIO

What's going on here? Oh my!

MEGAN

Father! Tell them to let me be with my baby!

FATHER DELALIO

Ma'am I must ask you to exit the coffin. This is a travesty.

MEGAN

You're a travesty!

FATHER DELALIO

Excuse me?

JOHN

Mother!

FATHER DELALIO

Please ma'am you must get up!

MEGAN

And why?

JOHN

Because Caitlin can't breathe!

MEGAN

Wha?

Caitlin lifts and arm up, coughs, and speaks in a choked voice.

CAITLIN

Surprise, Ma. Happy Birthday.

-Matt